My world changed the day she was born.
I was so happy when I first saw her. I knew what falling head over heels in love meant. What love at first sight meant. What unconditional love meant.
When she was brought to me—all bundled up in a warm blanket—I thought I could never forget the moment. Never forget that tiny little face, the baby smell, the tiny hands… I took it all in. Old habits kicked in, and I took out my phone and took a picture. Thank god I did. Because now, a year later, when I try to think of that moment all I can remember is this picture, how she looks in it, and my eyes well up in tears… taking me back in time, filling up my senses with her smell, her touch, the first snuggle.
I now realize I had created a powerful anchor, without even realizing its significance.
Children remain tiny for a very small time, and grow up with lightning speed. A year old now, she sits in her high chair next to me, and actually feeds me with her tiny fingers! When I return after a long day, she welcomes me back with a warm snuggle, takes my face in her palms and bites my nose. In the garden, she holds my hand and walks on the grass with faltering steps, and screams for Mamma the moment she realizes I’m out of her sight.
Seems only yesterday that she would fit in my hand.
Her face has changed a zillion times already. She is an ocean of expressions, and can go from tragedy to comedy in 10 seconds flat, firing a million expressions along the way. Such a difference a year can make!
Yes, I took it all in the first time that we said “Hello”. Like all mothers I thought I could never ever forget every tiny detail of that moment. But now when I look back and try to remember how she looked, what she did, all that comes to my mind are these beautiful pictures I clicked. How she looks in them, her face, her expressions, her fancy little poses. Everything else is lost.
No, not the feeling. That always stays.
So I am grateful that I took those pictures. A whole lot of them. And they take me back in time and let me relive the moments once again. These pictures have created an everlasting memory and this is ONLY the beginning as we step into Year 2.
I have my camera ready.
Bring it on, my little angel.